13. Free Spirit (From The Intense Freedom Family)
What does a wolf do when it gets its leg caught in a trap? It chews its leg off to escape. That’s exactly what Free Spirits do. They can’t stand to be trapped; they have to be free.
This is one of the most intense and misunderstood abilities. Free Spirits are compelled to do things their own way. They are independent thinkers who like to be their own boss, to come and go as they please. They are naturally self-directed. The Free Spirit attribute is so intense that it affects their entire profile. They must be in an environment that allows them to be independent.
Free Spirits are unconventional. They like to swim upstream. They aren’t gullible or easily manipulated…except when someone offers them apparent freedom. That’s their blind spot. They bring a sense of openness to their environment. Because freedom is so important to them, they will find a way to beat the system. And they will do it at every opportunity with great tenacity.
They can become frustrated with people because they hate to be nagged, forced or coerced. They may alienate anyone they consider demanding, controlling or inhibiting. Their passionate desire for freedom at all costs can boomerang, causing others to react by putting more and more constraints on them, resulting in frustration and a feeling of bondage.
To prevent burnout in their jobs or relationships, it is critical that they honor their free-spirited nature in their private lives. They must get out into nature and do things they want to do. They must exercise their Free Spirit on a regular basis. This will give them the proper balance between success and freedom, and others will be drawn to that balance.
The creative thinking of Free Spirits has contributed much to our progress. Tremendous strides have been made because a Free Spirit asked, “Does it have to be done that way? Why adhere to the rule?” The bedrock of a Free Spirit is ingenuity. Because they’re always questioning…always looking for angles, they come up with creative ideas and solutions to problems
If their attribute is unmanaged, although they are compelled to be free, Free Spirits invariably will end up in some form of bondage. Frequently, debt is the monster in their basement. They give their freedom over to it. It isn’t possible to lay guilt on a Free Spirit. They’re not sensitive to the hissing snake.
They can be relationally hostile; they might not come to the phone or give you the time of day. They may express their natural distrust by quiet, passive-aggressive behavior. What they’re saying by this behavior is: I don’t believe you. I’m not buying it. I’ll shut you up with my silence or my non-engagement or even by my reluctant compliance. This contrary behavior vents their natural anger at restraint.
When communicating with Free Spirits, use the “F”-word…FREEDOM: How can I free you up? I want to set you free to do more interesting things. If you can find time to work on this, I can free you up to move on to better things.
They’re designed to play their way to success and significance. Sometimes others need to help them play. They can get stuck. They need to experience their freedom.
The thing with their freedom is that it’s personal and independent. The moment another relationship is interjected, there’s another natural agenda that can seem to bring bondage. Free Spirits are claustrophobic. They need lots of room. You have to let them fly away to come back to you. It’s beyond the horizon of someone who’s not a Free Spirit to see how far they have to go to come back. But they will come back if they trust.
They must learn to work smart so they can have more freedom. You approach a Free Spirit with a choice, not an order. Choices are important to Free Spirits. They want fences that keep others out, but not fences that keep them in. They resist structure because they view it as oppression; in reality, they need structure to be free to play. They are happiest when they are completely free.